Baby's First Close Up.

Here is a picture from the 3D sonogram that our lovely birth mother had done on Friday.  Usually these things creep me out a bit.  They still are a bit alien in sorts, but we get to see that adorable little button nose and beautiful little features of our goregous girl.  Can't wait to meet her!  Soon and very soon :-)

Ali

The only thing to be prepared for is unpredictability.

Yesterday was one heck of an adventure around here as you can tell from my previous post.  Because it is human nature to take one thing and turn it into whatever might be best for your situation in your mind there seems to have been a misinterpretation of information.  100% on my part I might add.  Let me elaborate.

When I spoke with Cole last Tuesday he had told me that Nichole was going to the doctor/hospital with hopes of being induced either Friday or Saturday.  In my mind that means, wow, a baby will be born Friday or Saturday...In reality that means, Nichole has hopes that the doctor and the baby will both be ready, but there is nothing set in stone.  So here is what I chose to then do.  FREAK OUT!  Here is how the owners manual on my brain would read at that point in time:

Step One: Hyperventilate.
Step Two: Book Hotel for the weekend starting Friday ending is indefinite...
Step Three: Price Flights every hour on the hour until the phone call comes through to actually board the plane with the itinerary which you have been staring at for the past 72 hours.
Step Four: Repeat Step One.
Step Five: Pack Your Bags for undetermined amount of time for undetermined weather conditions in undetermined location...State: New York, Duration: Unknown, Weather: Varies.
Step Six: Get weirdly and uncontrollably emotional and sentimental about the fact that you will now be a three family unit.  Cry, Sob, and try/demand to wrench out every bit of human emotion from your exhausted husband.
Step Seven: Repeat Step One.

So, overall I was a joy to be around.  For all involved.  Those of you reading this that were around me on that autopilot loop above.  Bless you for not "off-ing" me when you got the chance :-).

Ok so now, on to what actually happened this weekend and how we continue forward.  Apparently when Nichole went to see the doctor a few things happened.  She is contracting, but not enough to induce.  She is dialated, but not enough to induce.  So if you fully get the picture. She is not ready to be induced.  However, we were totally overjoyed with the other news that we received.  Cole called me to explain what had happened as well as tell me what was currently underway.  Nichole was getting a whole slew of tests and prenatal care done that she had not previously received (blood work, measurements, sonograms, and other pregnancy related tests and such...this is not my field so I am at a loss).  This was thrilling for us to find out because of the complete lack of any kind of knowledge of the baby's health is was a huge weight lifted.  Cole called back about 4:45pm yesterday (8-24-12) and said that Nichole would like to conference with us in order to give us the information from the tests.  Thrilled I got Mitch on the phone and this is what she said:

"Well Mitch and Ali...It's a girl."

No sweeter and more beautiful words have I ever heard.  Our baby girl is on the way.  She is stubborn and likes where she is now, but she will be here soon enough.  Nichole also let us know that all is well and healthy.  The heartbeat is strong and our little angel is in position ready to arrive.  If Nichole does not go into labor on her own over the weekend, early next week she is going back to the doctor to get checked again and to determine where we stand.

In what has been a whirlwind of knowledge and at times lackthereof we finally feel like this is becoming so real.  We know that there is a little girl across the country that we will soon enough be able to call our daughter.  Wow.

At this point it is back to the waiting game.  For me, it's back to work (which I might add does not make me upset at all, I am LOVING my new job).  And within the next week we should have a better idea as to when little baby Maren will make her appearance. 

In Love,

Ali

If we have to wait any longer, I might lose it!!

Here we go again.  This morning waking up I was thinking today is going to be crazy.  Get up out of bed, and by mid-morning a phone call saying, it's time to get on a plane as soon as possible, yet here I am at 1:27pm...sitting on my couch still waiting for the phone call.  I emailed this morning to see if there was any news to report, and Cole (birth mother agent) seems to be having a hard time getting a hold of Nichole (birth mom).  Not that I am losing any kind of confidence in this whole process, but for the first time in this whole adventure, I thought (silly me)that maybe, just maybe, something would be a bit more set in stone.  Yet again, here I still sit.  I am frustrated, anxious, stressed, happy, overjoyed and terrified all at the same time.  At this point I think that negativity is setting in a bit more.  I am in desperate need of some answers, any answers.  Poor Mitch.  That guy dealt with a whole pot full of crazy last night from this girl and very likely will have to deal with a bit more before the day's end.  He keeps telling me to calm down and take a deep breath.  REALLY?!?!  That's what you have to offer me?!  Believe me, it's not that I should not 100% heed his advice, but that's not what I am wanting to hear.  I know that is all anyone can offer at this point, but still...I will continue to sit here and pout like the 27 year old that I am.  This is a total vent soooo, in my head I am hoping that for those of you who read this, your view of me will not be swayed to the whiney pile of human I actually am at this point in time.  Maybe this will be skipped over in your journey through this blog...I guess I can only hope.

Sick to my stomach,

Ali


P.S.-***In a moment of clarity after I posted this blog originally I was glancing through and remembered this prayer from another not so bubbly day in this process.  So again I turn to God and pray:

Please God, keep us strong and help us to deal with whatever may lie ahead.  Let our love as a couple continue to grow and develop.  Help us to be our greatest support and let our patience never wain.  Be in our corner...In your most holy and gracious name we pray. 

Anxious..me, NOOO.

Sitting here at the table, in my quiet house, waiting to hear the garage door open and Mitch to trounce in I am realizing something quite profound.  After this weekend we will no longer be the only human permanent residents of this little home on Rushwood.  Whoa.  Super cool ;-). 

Today at work several of my co-workers were letting me know that for the next few weeks/months I will not get another good night's sleep but it will be the most fantastic experience ever.  I smiled and agreed.  This is going to be so wonderful.  Every moment, no matter how new or scary or unpleasant, wonderful.

At this point I am totally elated and I have no more to say, prepare yourselves for either a flood of blogs over the next week or so, or a complete hush, I may be spending a ridiculously huge amount of time holding the newest love of my life.

Glowing,

Ali

72 hours...

Yesterday while sitting at my desk, trying to be a diligent working woman, I was startled by the oh so familiar "phone to desk" vibration...whir, whir, whir.  I knew due to the duration that this was a phone call.  Hip, hip hooray I thought.  Looking down at the number my heart securely lodged itself into my throat...it was Cole, Nichole's agent.  All of a sudden a rush of thoughts ran through my head in the three seconds it took me to answer the call.  His first words, "Ok Ali, this is not THE call, but I wanted to give you an update."  Relief and disappointment set in simultaneously which at the time seemed like a weird combo, but now, for me at least, it makes sense.  He was giving me some important updates on the medical process for Nichole, as well as letting me know that if she hasn't had this baby by Friday she is going to go to the hospital and hopefully they will keep her there to induce her for labor.  WHOA!  An actual date!!  Some kind of odd certainty.  As with every aspect of our lives on baby up to this point, there has not been much of a shred of certainity.  Now yes, I do understand again nothing is set in stone.  She could go into labor now or they might not schedule an induction date until next week, but still...Just the thought that by this time next week I might be holding a precious little gift from God that I will be graced to be able to call my child melts my heart on so many levels.  Last night while figuring out how to install the car seat with Leah I was falling a little more and more in love with a child that I haven't even met.  This has been a long and grueling journey over the past six years and now we are talking days.  Wow.  Days, what a beautiful word.  Other than that I am frantically figuring out living arrangements for our stay and praying that God helps us to stay strong and focused during this exciting and terrifying time.

Hoping for an August 24th Birthday Celebration :-),

Ali

To Show We Care...

OK so Mitch and I have been diligently checking airfare prices, hotel deals, and car rental packages over the past weeks trying to do what little bit of planning we might be able to accomplish, and have forgotten about one vital component (probably always in the back of our minds).  Until recently we hadn't taken too much time to think about how we can be as sensitive as possible with our birth mother and her family when we arrive at the hospital.  I mean yes, we are getting all of the logistics figured out on our end, but how are we supposed to show Nichole and her kids that we do truly care about them and want them to be a part of our lives.  How does one show that personal of an emotion to people that you have only just known a few months, let alone just met in person.  Should we hug (believe this thought creeps into my head from time to time, I am not usually a, hey I just met you, bring it on in to hug-town unless a few adult beverages may have been consumed in the process of our meeting kind of gal)?  How do we still remain true to ourselves and not turn into mush right before their very eyes?  Will we be emotional?  If we don't cry because our heads are exploding with overwhelming fear and excitement will we look like cold-hearted stone statues?  When we get the baby, and all we want to do is spend an enormous amount of time staring at our precious little one, how do we make sure that she knows that our ultimate goal was not to take her child and run, yet we also need to convey the thought that we are so ready to be able to get home and begin our lives as a family?  They (blogs, articles, the adoption agency, etc.) constantly talk about making sure the birth mother knows that their comfort is your top priority, but I can't say that is our number one concern.  Our number one concern is that baby.  However, I want her to know that we really are excited and dedicated to this being an open adoption and that contact with her and her kids is an important part of this process.  In my head I am 100% sure that I am over thinking things.  Mitch keeps telling me just to chill, but there are so many answers that we won't be able to figure out until the time comes and it is killing me!!  At least I have a great man by my side to call me nuts from time to time and gives me a hug to shut me up ;-).  Mitch made an awesome point last night.  Birth mom knows everything about us, our families, our inner-most thoughts, and we don't even know what she looks like (well not totally).  How are we supposed to be open and honest (which we completely have been) with this woman when we know so little about her?  Maybe that will come with time, but in this phase when we are trying to build this relationship it makes it difficult when so much is one sided.  She has been open, don't get us wrong, but unlike building any other relationship some of the vital components are missing not to mention the fact that a lot of the questions that you might want to ask are off limits as to not offend her or her family (things as simple as are you married, what are your kids names, where did you go to school, what do you do, etc.).  Well I have sufficiently began to ramble and my grammar is atrocious, so I am cutting myself off...on another note I changed the blog settings so all of you who may have wanted to comment earlier yet were unable, the problem should be remedied.  Thanks again for the vent,

Ali

The Whirlwind

So we have been sufficiently busy around the Kiser house as of late. Trying to decide the best travel arrangements as well as keeping in contact with Nichole (which is more and more exciting every day) and trying to nail down my job status...life has been crazy!! But here are the updates in our whirlwind adventure.

1. I was offered a position at Butler Community College as a part-time advisor on Tuesday July 31st, and I accepted. I should be starting on the 13th (if we aren't on a plane to New York). My boss at the college has adopted internationally so she is incredibly empathetic to our situation and understands that we may leave at the drop of a hat. Very excited for this new chapter in my life.

2. Contact with Nichole is ever increasing and we love our choice for an open adoption so far. She is not in the best of spirits but still is incredibly pleasant. This pregnancy is taking a toll on her sleep and she is ready for the adventure of labor to begin. She told us on the phone yesterday that she's been through labor twice, but that doesn't mean she's still a little scared. She said plain and simple, it hurts :-). We went her a Willow Tree Angel, "Thinking of You" last week and she said it really cheered her up. So thankful God has brought such a lovely and wonderful woman into our lives

3. We should be going over the hospital plan that Nichole decided on any day with our adoption specialist. Maybe it's just me but I feel like at times, Laurie's(our adoption agent) plate is sometimes a little too full. She gave me her cell phone and I contacted her yesterday morning about the job change and I felt really bad about interrupting her. She told me that I can call her whenever I need to, but there was still some guilt, then again we are down to crunch time though. I think it's all in my head, but I feel sometimes like Cole, Nichole's agent, is much better about contacting us in a timely manner than Laurie. Again just me venting she has been great and here we are.

4. Trying to get all of the ducks in a row here as far as the dog care, laundry, gifts for Nichole and her family at the adoption (my idea-not forced). Figuring out pediatricians, newborn photography, this whole registry thing, and daycare. Also like I was saying travel arrangements for the big day. Whew. Like I said whirlwind.

Overall though life is good we continue to email Nichole and like I said a new job in my future. We are blessed and in a few more weeks, much more blessings sent our way.

Overjoyed,

Ali