To Show We Care...

OK so Mitch and I have been diligently checking airfare prices, hotel deals, and car rental packages over the past weeks trying to do what little bit of planning we might be able to accomplish, and have forgotten about one vital component (probably always in the back of our minds).  Until recently we hadn't taken too much time to think about how we can be as sensitive as possible with our birth mother and her family when we arrive at the hospital.  I mean yes, we are getting all of the logistics figured out on our end, but how are we supposed to show Nichole and her kids that we do truly care about them and want them to be a part of our lives.  How does one show that personal of an emotion to people that you have only just known a few months, let alone just met in person.  Should we hug (believe this thought creeps into my head from time to time, I am not usually a, hey I just met you, bring it on in to hug-town unless a few adult beverages may have been consumed in the process of our meeting kind of gal)?  How do we still remain true to ourselves and not turn into mush right before their very eyes?  Will we be emotional?  If we don't cry because our heads are exploding with overwhelming fear and excitement will we look like cold-hearted stone statues?  When we get the baby, and all we want to do is spend an enormous amount of time staring at our precious little one, how do we make sure that she knows that our ultimate goal was not to take her child and run, yet we also need to convey the thought that we are so ready to be able to get home and begin our lives as a family?  They (blogs, articles, the adoption agency, etc.) constantly talk about making sure the birth mother knows that their comfort is your top priority, but I can't say that is our number one concern.  Our number one concern is that baby.  However, I want her to know that we really are excited and dedicated to this being an open adoption and that contact with her and her kids is an important part of this process.  In my head I am 100% sure that I am over thinking things.  Mitch keeps telling me just to chill, but there are so many answers that we won't be able to figure out until the time comes and it is killing me!!  At least I have a great man by my side to call me nuts from time to time and gives me a hug to shut me up ;-).  Mitch made an awesome point last night.  Birth mom knows everything about us, our families, our inner-most thoughts, and we don't even know what she looks like (well not totally).  How are we supposed to be open and honest (which we completely have been) with this woman when we know so little about her?  Maybe that will come with time, but in this phase when we are trying to build this relationship it makes it difficult when so much is one sided.  She has been open, don't get us wrong, but unlike building any other relationship some of the vital components are missing not to mention the fact that a lot of the questions that you might want to ask are off limits as to not offend her or her family (things as simple as are you married, what are your kids names, where did you go to school, what do you do, etc.).  Well I have sufficiently began to ramble and my grammar is atrocious, so I am cutting myself off...on another note I changed the blog settings so all of you who may have wanted to comment earlier yet were unable, the problem should be remedied.  Thanks again for the vent,

Ali