If we have to wait any longer, I might lose it!!

Here we go again.  This morning waking up I was thinking today is going to be crazy.  Get up out of bed, and by mid-morning a phone call saying, it's time to get on a plane as soon as possible, yet here I am at 1:27pm...sitting on my couch still waiting for the phone call.  I emailed this morning to see if there was any news to report, and Cole (birth mother agent) seems to be having a hard time getting a hold of Nichole (birth mom).  Not that I am losing any kind of confidence in this whole process, but for the first time in this whole adventure, I thought (silly me)that maybe, just maybe, something would be a bit more set in stone.  Yet again, here I still sit.  I am frustrated, anxious, stressed, happy, overjoyed and terrified all at the same time.  At this point I think that negativity is setting in a bit more.  I am in desperate need of some answers, any answers.  Poor Mitch.  That guy dealt with a whole pot full of crazy last night from this girl and very likely will have to deal with a bit more before the day's end.  He keeps telling me to calm down and take a deep breath.  REALLY?!?!  That's what you have to offer me?!  Believe me, it's not that I should not 100% heed his advice, but that's not what I am wanting to hear.  I know that is all anyone can offer at this point, but still...I will continue to sit here and pout like the 27 year old that I am.  This is a total vent soooo, in my head I am hoping that for those of you who read this, your view of me will not be swayed to the whiney pile of human I actually am at this point in time.  Maybe this will be skipped over in your journey through this blog...I guess I can only hope.

Sick to my stomach,

Ali


P.S.-***In a moment of clarity after I posted this blog originally I was glancing through and remembered this prayer from another not so bubbly day in this process.  So again I turn to God and pray:

Please God, keep us strong and help us to deal with whatever may lie ahead.  Let our love as a couple continue to grow and develop.  Help us to be our greatest support and let our patience never wain.  Be in our corner...In your most holy and gracious name we pray.