The Joys of Parenthood

I know it has been an outrageous amount of time since I last put the "technological" pen to the paper here on the blog, but life has been a bit full in more ways than one.  We have been dealing with the adjustment of parenthood, and what an adjustment it has been.  I am in love with the most wonderful little girl who just brings such a smile to my heart (and usually face) every time I look at her!  However, even with all of the joys parenting can bring, my life was literally turned upside down in a matter of days.  I found out that I would not be able to function as a stay at home parent....Mitch and I would surely kill one another (I am pretty sure he was out for blood within a week and a half of my "the little mommy at home" phase).  As soon as I was blessed to return back to work my equilibrium shifted and again I was my bubbly, semi-enjoyable self (yank, yank).  As much as I love spending moment after moment with my little darling, I needed some Ali time.  I needed a reason to get out of my two sizes too big sweat pants and brush my hair ;-).  So that phase was a trip indeed.  We had three of the most wonderful baby showers as well during this period of blog silence.  Our friends and family showered us with love and oh so much pink for sure.  We are so truly and incredibly blessed.  To all of the English scholars who may read this, sorry I am not a fan of the paragraph, this is just going to be one big mash, so prepare your brain for the fallout.  We have also been in contact from time to time with Nichole during this period at home since the adoption took place. She is having a very difficult time dealing with the loss of Maren and is struggling with the healing process.  Luckily she has been given the opportunity to take advantage of counseling and from what I can gather with contact from the adoption agency, she is using all of these resources.  At first I will admit that I was a little concerned about the contact with Nichole.  I felt like her healing was at a stand-still and we as the adoptive parents might not be the best people to try to help her get over this hurdle.  I expressed my concerns with the agency and they said that I should just try to cut back on the contact slowly as we also needed to continue our lives and adjustments to the new addition as well and not focus so much on how she might feel about the process.  It was a tough call, but it is getting significantly better.  We sent off our one month pictures and letter today actually.  With this being an open adoption we have a schedule of letters and pictures to send which is the minimum, I am OK with whatever Nichole might need within reason.  As time goes on and she continues to heal and recover from the loss we will be more comfortable with all of the contact.  At this point it still feels a bit awkward.  Enough about that subject and on to more happy things.  Maren is a complete doll-baby as many call her.  We won't let that get to her head ;-).  She is so mild mannered and the most happy baby ever!  Even now with a bit of a cold, she still smiles and coos through the stuffy nose.  Daycare is going fantastic.  She is being so well taken care of and we couldn't ask for anything more.  Her lovely babysitter is great about sending me a daily Maren so that way I can keep up with what my baby girl is doing when I am not around.  I take time almost every day to show her off to the co-workers.  They seem to love it, even if it's just a front, it's still super cool...Maren is also sleeping in her own room, in her own crib.  She has been since about 3 1/2 weeks.  We knew that the quicker we got her used to sleeping in her own space, maybe the quicker she would sleep through the night.  Now whether or not this actually has helped or if it was just her timing we aren't sure, but other than this cold our baby is one heck of a sleeper.  We get a solid five to six hours of sleep a night and we are sooo blessed!  As far as the finalization of the adoption we go to court on the 29th of October here in Butler County and since we haven't been through this before we aren't 100% sure what happens, but we assume this will be the official adoption date.  We have had several post-placement visits (well actually only one, the 2nd is tonight) and they have gone just wonderfully.  We should have a total of three before the finalization.  Hmmmm, other than that, I know right it's a ton, life is getting back to a schedule.  Mitch and I are loving every minute with our baby peanut, pumpkin, pumpkin pie, princess, sugar bear, sugar britches, and the list goes on and on.  Life is good, God is good, and we are so amazingly grateful for all of the gifts He has given us. 

We've got sunshine...on a cloudy day :-)...Ali

P.S.-These are some pictures from the newborn photo shoot we did a week after Maren came home to KS.  Just thought I would share!

A Break from Blogging.

Well we finally got the call and made it home about ten days ago.  We were showered with love, excitement, and oh so much pink ;-).  It has been a hard adjustment but luckily Maren is an angel.  I have decided to take a short break from blogging as I get used to this whole "Mom" thing.  But I hope to return shortly and vent now not about the struggles to become a family, but the trials and tribulations of raising a child!  What a great and glorious transition.  So I guess at this point, stay tuned and thank you again for listening.  It means more than you realize.

A Mom (tear*),

Ali

I Think The Term Is Stir Crazy...

Hotel rooms never held so much negativity for me until now...here we sit, waiting for the "OK" to leave, for day 13.  That's right day 13.  We moved to Syracuse yesterday with hopes that we would be on a plane today heading home sweet home.  We have lives we need to begin with our beautiful baby girl.  Doesn't the ICPC office realize that?!?  As we try desperately to stay positive and entertain ourselves in whatever way shape and form we might be able...usually eating, lots of eating, we are beginning to droop.  Like two week old bananas, we are getting overly ripe, squishy and brown.  I am sure that we are grating on each other's nerves and I am so happy to say if harsh words are said...there is generally a pretty quick recovery ;-).

ON a happier note, the ICPC office in Kansas should be able to give us some more information as to whether or not we will be able to leave tomorrow or if we are looking at another weekend in NY.  Pray that we will be given some leave...Or we may start to really lose our marbles.  Another note of happiness.  Maren's court date for the adoption proceedings has been set for the end of October.  Hooray!  Gotta love Kansas for their quick turnaround in that aspect.

Well other than that we sit, we wait, we rot in hotel rooms.  Glass half full.  Glass half full.  Glass half full...

Ali

The Closure.

Last Sunday we had a very nice opportunity with Nichole and her daughter. She wanted to see us before we head back to Kansas and say goodbye to the baby. Even though this is an open adoption process I can't imagine the hurt that would come with having to give up such a beautiful and amazing gift like Maren. To be quite honest I was a bit torn emotionally as to how this adventure might play out. Would she be able to handle seeing Maren? Would it throw her back into the sadness that comes with the territory, or would she see this as an opportunity to really begin healing? I consulted her birth mother agent and explained my hesitation. He told me that it is perfectly normal and actually a lot of birth mothers ask for the chance to say good bye outside of the hospital. Taking his word on it and trying not to read too much into Nichole's texts we planned to pick her up at noon and go to a beautiful state park close by, Nathaniel Cole Park.

It went amazing and I am beyond happy that we were able to have the chance to see Nichole so she could have some peace knowing that we are taking such good care of Maren. I think with her having the peace of mind that she made the right choice will help her wounds to heal and she can move on. We have told her time and time again that we will do everything we agreed to do with our open adoption plan and that she will still be a part of this beautiful miracle's life. I think she is at peace with the decision and as we will be taking a little piece of her heart with us to Kansas, she will always have a place in ours.

Loved, Blessed, Lucky,

Ali

Baby Maren's Rough Night

Last night was the first of many we will have to endure in our journey as parents. Maren was acting different since early evening. A lot more squirmy and not really knowing what she wanted. At about ten we tried to hit the sack when Maren was having no part of it. She started to cry which is rare for our little baby, she hasn't cried much at all...not even during bath time :-). We tried rocking, interesting in a hotel room office chair. We tried walking. We checked her diaper. We changed her diaper. We swaddled, we fed her still no relief. She had been spitting up more than normal as well so we put our finger on the fact that her belly was not happy and she couldn't figure out what she wanted to try to help find relief. Oh boy was I a mommy mess at about midnight. As I stood there crying and not knowing what to do with Maren in full out baby bawling mode feeling incredibly helpless, Diane knocked. Our saving grace had arrived. She quickly scooped up our hurting baby girl and rocked her, bounced her, and eventually soothed her to sleep. We had got about ten minutes of sleep (both baby and parents) here and there for the past two hours and we got to see the momma instinct come into play with Grandma at work. It was beautiful and relieving all at once. We are still so new at all of this and seeing someone be able to put our baby girl at ease was amazing. She took a spot on the chair in the living room and stuck it out until her belly ache passed at about three AM. We are learning so much every day and we couldn't do it without the great support she has provided us. We are lucky to have such a great mom so close. What a world of love this baby girl is born into. We thought our ship was going down last night and then Diane threw out her lifeboat. Thanks so much! Maren loves her Grandma and so do we.

Relieved,

Ali

Maren's Flowers.

Flower's from Grandpa Mike-September 7th, 2012

Flowers and her first Teddy Bear from The Pressnell Clan-September 7th, 2012

The Day We Have Been Waiting For.

This week may be one of the most emotionally draining of my life to date.  On Tuesday the most beautiful creature I have ever seen entered this world, read earlier post to hear my ooos and ahhhs.  On Wednesday we had to say goodbye to her and leave our heart at the hospital as we waited to be given any kind of mental closure on Thursday when Nichole would meet with her lawyer.  We had no guarantees, no "go for it", no "for sure" only hope and faith.  We went up to the hospital on Wednesday to watch a few videos that the nurses said I we needed to complete before discharge on Thursday and we also wanted to look at that beautiful head full of hair and that gorgeous face that sits under it through the nursery window.  I am not going to hold back but tell you truthfully it was one of the most difficult and draining moments I have experienced.  I stood there on the other side of the window looking at a baby girl, my baby girl, who I could not touch, smell or give so many kisses to on those loveable chubby cheeks.  I broke down.  Mitch held my hand as nurses, doctors, and happy new parents walked by and I just cried.  Unsure of what would happen in the next  24 hours.  Unsure if we would ever be able to have the life I had ran through my head over and over again with this little girl that we had already grown to love so much.  It was gut wrenching.  So we left, drove down the road and held hands...not needing to say anything.  We both felt the sting of leaving our baby behind and no knowing if we would ever have the opportunity to be her parents.  That was Wednesday in a nutshell.  We ended up going to a movie that afternoon, eating out and then I came home took a Tylenol PM and crashed.  If I didn't get some medicinal help I knew sleep would never come.

Thursday was surprisingly a relaxing morning.  I was able to get ready in my own time as well as just reflect and pray.  At about one we went up to the hospital to finish up the teaching activities we were going to need to complete before leaving the hospital with our baby girl.  The nurses were beyond amazing (Shannon and Mary).  They were helpful to our situation and gave us a room to relax in and watch all of the videos as well as give us as much information as they could legally about Maren.  It was stressful and overwhelming having to wait for the answer for the end result.  When Kevin, Nichole's lawyer showed up at the hospital after running an hour late due to traffic (COME ON YOUR KILLING US!) we were able to know that the end was near...one way or the other.  We waited what seemed like forever until Kevin arrived back again in our temporary hospital room and let us know we just needed to sign a few dotted lines and we would officially be the guardians of Maren, our daughter.  I was trying to fight the tears as well as sign as quickly as humanly possible.  It was done in a matter of minutes and then we had to wait.  Nichole, Rusty (the birth father), and Kassie were all in the room next door saying goodbye to our baby.  It was gut-wrenching.  These wonderful people were giving us the most beautiful gift and losing a little piece of their hearts at the same time.  We gave them some time and then Kevin's assistant Sherri told us that Nichole wanted to see us.  She gave us a beautiful card, told us thank you and to protect her, and also gave us a little angel statue and asked us to put it in her room.  Emotions were not in short supply.  Nichole asked if she could dress Maren and then we decided it was time to leave.  Mitch took a picture of us together and then we made to most difficult exit from the hospital.  Nichole had to wheel this precious little girl out of the hospital in a wheelchair and then hand her to me at the curb of the hospital in the rain.  It broke my heart, but I can't imagine how it felt for the birth family.  I tried to make it a quick yet meaningful exchange.  I wanted to run from the situation with our baby, but I knew it had to be a step in closure for Nichole and her family.  A few minutes passed.  We frantically put Maren in her carseat and headed out.  Overjoyed that this journey was over.  She is ours.  Our beautiful daughter, Maren Sophia.  I know that this blog is not as eloquent or elaborate as some may be but it has been a work in progress for the past three days...having a baby is so wonderful, and very time consuming :-).  As she sleeps in front of me I am just thinking of how blessed we are, and what a miracle she is for Mitch and I.  She is so loved by so many and she is only four days old.

With a heart so full,

Ali

Maren's first car ride-home from the hospital...she did great!!

At our "temporary home" in Vestal, NY.  First family picture.

Ali, Kassie, Nichole and Baby Maren at UHS Wilson Hospital, Johnson City, NY-September 6th, 2012

Kisses are in abundance around here...love this little angel.

The Most Beautiful Birthday

On Tuesday morning,September 4th, 2012 we met the most beautiful baby girl in the wide world. Our baby girl, Maren Sophia. Let me tell you how we got to that point.

Nichole (birth mom) was going in to be induced on Monday September 3rd at about 7:30-8 pm. She sent me a text and told me that there was no need for us just to sit up at the hospital and wait all night so she would let us know when we needed to book it up there. Semi relieved we settled in for what we knew would not be a restful night. At about 5:00AM my phone beeped and lit up and the most wonderful words appeared across my screen. "Hey guys, she's here!". We scrambled around and rushed up to the hospital to meet our baby girl. Nichole's daughter and her friend Dawn met us at the entrance to bring us up to Nichole and baby Maren. When we arrived she was the most precious beautiful bundle with sooo much hair and the chubbiest little cheeks. She was contently sucking on Nichole's finger and desperately waiting to be fed. She was hungry!! We got to hold her and Nichole, Kassie, Sean and Dawn had all gotten gifts for baby so we opened them. It was a cute devotional bible, a couple of onesies and a soft blanket. Maren was so loved and adored already. Her official birth stats are 9-4-12, 8 lbs., 20.25", and at 4:35AM. We loved on her all morning and watched as she got her first bath in the nursery and then heading back into Nichole's room. We did not end up getting any kind of rights to the baby so we can only see the baby with Nichole in her room. It was hard but we have done alright with it. Like my mom told me, "When you were born I had to wait a month before I could do anything with you because you were so small." That was great to hear and totally put things into perspective. We only have to wait a few more days and that beautiful baby girl will be all ours as long as it all goes as planned.

Excited and beyond anxious,

Ali

We Finally Meet!

Today we had an amazing opportunity. We got to sit down and have lunch with Nichole and her two grown kids. It was incredible and we are so happy we got the chance to meet them before the excitement begins tomorrow. Needless to say I was a bit nervous this morning, while talking on the phone with a close friend, I was pacing the floor of the hotel room and thinking of all of the details of this upcoming meeting...Will she like us, will her kids like us, will we come off as relaxed or a nervous wreck, what does she expect, will we get into deep conversation or can that wait until the hospital, will she cry, will I cry, if we run out of things to talk about what can we pick up on? And so on and so forth. We called her about 11:15AM confirmed our meet and on we went, checking out Binghamton and all of the important points of interest (hospital, hotel, shopping). Binghamton is much larger than I ever expected. I was thinking size of Joplin, but it is much larger or maybe just more spread out. It actually is about 5 little towns all smushed into one. Elmira, Union, Johnson City, Vestal, Binghamton, and Endwell...maybe Endicott as well...I can't remember. Anyway. The time came and we headed towards her house. She lives in an older apartment complex and told us that she would wait outside for us. When we pulled up it was Nichole (very pregnant, still very tiny), her daughter (16 years old) and her son (18 years old). We got out of the car and I asked immediately if I could give her a hug. She agreed happily and then we squished into the Rav4 Rental and scooted off to lunch at a little chain around the east coast called Friendly's. The ride to the restaurant consisted of talking about our travel and Binghamton, just general let's break the ice convo. After we sat down to lunch we began talking more about the baby, her kids and what their interests are as well as what they have coming up. School, work, summer activities. Again general conversation. Then Nichole started to tell us thank you again for adopting her child and I wasn't sure how to handle it. I told her about Friday and spending time with my mom and balling my eyes out as I was telling her that there are not enough words to explain how blessed and amazingly grateful we are for what she is doing for us. How we would not be able to fulfill this dream of becoming parents without her. I kind of cut it there knowing I might lose it and realized we will have a lot of time in the next week to exchange our deepest thoughts and emotions. We will have time to cry (if it happens) and have time to continue bonding. Overall it went amazing. They are all wonderful people and we could not be more excited to be a part of their lives and can't wait to continue building them a special place in our hearts. Maren is so lucky to be surrounded by so many people who love her unconditionally. Tomorrow is the big day...she gets induced in the evening. More updates when I can.

Blessed, Loved, and Sooo Happy to Have Officially Met Nichole, Kassandra, and Sean,

Ali

In Transit...

After lots of "is today the day"thoughts and a few minor (Mitch may beg to differ...) freak outs, we are in transit to our destination. We are sitting in the Kansas City airport and I thought well what a great time to update the blog. We booked our plane tickets yesterday and all of a sudden...REAL. The butterflies set in and again minor panic attack. No paper bags needed or hyperventilating, but when Mom and I got together the tears were flowing. It was cathartic though and probably much needed. We are heading to get our baby girl. The tiniest love of our lives who hasn't even arrived yet. Can't wait but there it is. All laid out there for you. Maren will be here before we know it and parents we will become. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. We will keep you posted and as soon as we can pictures will be flooding the web. Our lives may be a bit hectic in the next few days. The beginning of our beautiful next chapter.

Ready to Turn the Page,

Ali

Baby's First Close Up.

Here is a picture from the 3D sonogram that our lovely birth mother had done on Friday.  Usually these things creep me out a bit.  They still are a bit alien in sorts, but we get to see that adorable little button nose and beautiful little features of our goregous girl.  Can't wait to meet her!  Soon and very soon :-)

Ali

The only thing to be prepared for is unpredictability.

Yesterday was one heck of an adventure around here as you can tell from my previous post.  Because it is human nature to take one thing and turn it into whatever might be best for your situation in your mind there seems to have been a misinterpretation of information.  100% on my part I might add.  Let me elaborate.

When I spoke with Cole last Tuesday he had told me that Nichole was going to the doctor/hospital with hopes of being induced either Friday or Saturday.  In my mind that means, wow, a baby will be born Friday or Saturday...In reality that means, Nichole has hopes that the doctor and the baby will both be ready, but there is nothing set in stone.  So here is what I chose to then do.  FREAK OUT!  Here is how the owners manual on my brain would read at that point in time:

Step One: Hyperventilate.
Step Two: Book Hotel for the weekend starting Friday ending is indefinite...
Step Three: Price Flights every hour on the hour until the phone call comes through to actually board the plane with the itinerary which you have been staring at for the past 72 hours.
Step Four: Repeat Step One.
Step Five: Pack Your Bags for undetermined amount of time for undetermined weather conditions in undetermined location...State: New York, Duration: Unknown, Weather: Varies.
Step Six: Get weirdly and uncontrollably emotional and sentimental about the fact that you will now be a three family unit.  Cry, Sob, and try/demand to wrench out every bit of human emotion from your exhausted husband.
Step Seven: Repeat Step One.

So, overall I was a joy to be around.  For all involved.  Those of you reading this that were around me on that autopilot loop above.  Bless you for not "off-ing" me when you got the chance :-).

Ok so now, on to what actually happened this weekend and how we continue forward.  Apparently when Nichole went to see the doctor a few things happened.  She is contracting, but not enough to induce.  She is dialated, but not enough to induce.  So if you fully get the picture. She is not ready to be induced.  However, we were totally overjoyed with the other news that we received.  Cole called me to explain what had happened as well as tell me what was currently underway.  Nichole was getting a whole slew of tests and prenatal care done that she had not previously received (blood work, measurements, sonograms, and other pregnancy related tests and such...this is not my field so I am at a loss).  This was thrilling for us to find out because of the complete lack of any kind of knowledge of the baby's health is was a huge weight lifted.  Cole called back about 4:45pm yesterday (8-24-12) and said that Nichole would like to conference with us in order to give us the information from the tests.  Thrilled I got Mitch on the phone and this is what she said:

"Well Mitch and Ali...It's a girl."

No sweeter and more beautiful words have I ever heard.  Our baby girl is on the way.  She is stubborn and likes where she is now, but she will be here soon enough.  Nichole also let us know that all is well and healthy.  The heartbeat is strong and our little angel is in position ready to arrive.  If Nichole does not go into labor on her own over the weekend, early next week she is going back to the doctor to get checked again and to determine where we stand.

In what has been a whirlwind of knowledge and at times lackthereof we finally feel like this is becoming so real.  We know that there is a little girl across the country that we will soon enough be able to call our daughter.  Wow.

At this point it is back to the waiting game.  For me, it's back to work (which I might add does not make me upset at all, I am LOVING my new job).  And within the next week we should have a better idea as to when little baby Maren will make her appearance. 

In Love,

Ali

If we have to wait any longer, I might lose it!!

Here we go again.  This morning waking up I was thinking today is going to be crazy.  Get up out of bed, and by mid-morning a phone call saying, it's time to get on a plane as soon as possible, yet here I am at 1:27pm...sitting on my couch still waiting for the phone call.  I emailed this morning to see if there was any news to report, and Cole (birth mother agent) seems to be having a hard time getting a hold of Nichole (birth mom).  Not that I am losing any kind of confidence in this whole process, but for the first time in this whole adventure, I thought (silly me)that maybe, just maybe, something would be a bit more set in stone.  Yet again, here I still sit.  I am frustrated, anxious, stressed, happy, overjoyed and terrified all at the same time.  At this point I think that negativity is setting in a bit more.  I am in desperate need of some answers, any answers.  Poor Mitch.  That guy dealt with a whole pot full of crazy last night from this girl and very likely will have to deal with a bit more before the day's end.  He keeps telling me to calm down and take a deep breath.  REALLY?!?!  That's what you have to offer me?!  Believe me, it's not that I should not 100% heed his advice, but that's not what I am wanting to hear.  I know that is all anyone can offer at this point, but still...I will continue to sit here and pout like the 27 year old that I am.  This is a total vent soooo, in my head I am hoping that for those of you who read this, your view of me will not be swayed to the whiney pile of human I actually am at this point in time.  Maybe this will be skipped over in your journey through this blog...I guess I can only hope.

Sick to my stomach,

Ali


P.S.-***In a moment of clarity after I posted this blog originally I was glancing through and remembered this prayer from another not so bubbly day in this process.  So again I turn to God and pray:

Please God, keep us strong and help us to deal with whatever may lie ahead.  Let our love as a couple continue to grow and develop.  Help us to be our greatest support and let our patience never wain.  Be in our corner...In your most holy and gracious name we pray. 

Anxious..me, NOOO.

Sitting here at the table, in my quiet house, waiting to hear the garage door open and Mitch to trounce in I am realizing something quite profound.  After this weekend we will no longer be the only human permanent residents of this little home on Rushwood.  Whoa.  Super cool ;-). 

Today at work several of my co-workers were letting me know that for the next few weeks/months I will not get another good night's sleep but it will be the most fantastic experience ever.  I smiled and agreed.  This is going to be so wonderful.  Every moment, no matter how new or scary or unpleasant, wonderful.

At this point I am totally elated and I have no more to say, prepare yourselves for either a flood of blogs over the next week or so, or a complete hush, I may be spending a ridiculously huge amount of time holding the newest love of my life.

Glowing,

Ali

72 hours...

Yesterday while sitting at my desk, trying to be a diligent working woman, I was startled by the oh so familiar "phone to desk" vibration...whir, whir, whir.  I knew due to the duration that this was a phone call.  Hip, hip hooray I thought.  Looking down at the number my heart securely lodged itself into my throat...it was Cole, Nichole's agent.  All of a sudden a rush of thoughts ran through my head in the three seconds it took me to answer the call.  His first words, "Ok Ali, this is not THE call, but I wanted to give you an update."  Relief and disappointment set in simultaneously which at the time seemed like a weird combo, but now, for me at least, it makes sense.  He was giving me some important updates on the medical process for Nichole, as well as letting me know that if she hasn't had this baby by Friday she is going to go to the hospital and hopefully they will keep her there to induce her for labor.  WHOA!  An actual date!!  Some kind of odd certainty.  As with every aspect of our lives on baby up to this point, there has not been much of a shred of certainity.  Now yes, I do understand again nothing is set in stone.  She could go into labor now or they might not schedule an induction date until next week, but still...Just the thought that by this time next week I might be holding a precious little gift from God that I will be graced to be able to call my child melts my heart on so many levels.  Last night while figuring out how to install the car seat with Leah I was falling a little more and more in love with a child that I haven't even met.  This has been a long and grueling journey over the past six years and now we are talking days.  Wow.  Days, what a beautiful word.  Other than that I am frantically figuring out living arrangements for our stay and praying that God helps us to stay strong and focused during this exciting and terrifying time.

Hoping for an August 24th Birthday Celebration :-),

Ali

To Show We Care...

OK so Mitch and I have been diligently checking airfare prices, hotel deals, and car rental packages over the past weeks trying to do what little bit of planning we might be able to accomplish, and have forgotten about one vital component (probably always in the back of our minds).  Until recently we hadn't taken too much time to think about how we can be as sensitive as possible with our birth mother and her family when we arrive at the hospital.  I mean yes, we are getting all of the logistics figured out on our end, but how are we supposed to show Nichole and her kids that we do truly care about them and want them to be a part of our lives.  How does one show that personal of an emotion to people that you have only just known a few months, let alone just met in person.  Should we hug (believe this thought creeps into my head from time to time, I am not usually a, hey I just met you, bring it on in to hug-town unless a few adult beverages may have been consumed in the process of our meeting kind of gal)?  How do we still remain true to ourselves and not turn into mush right before their very eyes?  Will we be emotional?  If we don't cry because our heads are exploding with overwhelming fear and excitement will we look like cold-hearted stone statues?  When we get the baby, and all we want to do is spend an enormous amount of time staring at our precious little one, how do we make sure that she knows that our ultimate goal was not to take her child and run, yet we also need to convey the thought that we are so ready to be able to get home and begin our lives as a family?  They (blogs, articles, the adoption agency, etc.) constantly talk about making sure the birth mother knows that their comfort is your top priority, but I can't say that is our number one concern.  Our number one concern is that baby.  However, I want her to know that we really are excited and dedicated to this being an open adoption and that contact with her and her kids is an important part of this process.  In my head I am 100% sure that I am over thinking things.  Mitch keeps telling me just to chill, but there are so many answers that we won't be able to figure out until the time comes and it is killing me!!  At least I have a great man by my side to call me nuts from time to time and gives me a hug to shut me up ;-).  Mitch made an awesome point last night.  Birth mom knows everything about us, our families, our inner-most thoughts, and we don't even know what she looks like (well not totally).  How are we supposed to be open and honest (which we completely have been) with this woman when we know so little about her?  Maybe that will come with time, but in this phase when we are trying to build this relationship it makes it difficult when so much is one sided.  She has been open, don't get us wrong, but unlike building any other relationship some of the vital components are missing not to mention the fact that a lot of the questions that you might want to ask are off limits as to not offend her or her family (things as simple as are you married, what are your kids names, where did you go to school, what do you do, etc.).  Well I have sufficiently began to ramble and my grammar is atrocious, so I am cutting myself off...on another note I changed the blog settings so all of you who may have wanted to comment earlier yet were unable, the problem should be remedied.  Thanks again for the vent,

Ali

The Whirlwind

So we have been sufficiently busy around the Kiser house as of late. Trying to decide the best travel arrangements as well as keeping in contact with Nichole (which is more and more exciting every day) and trying to nail down my job status...life has been crazy!! But here are the updates in our whirlwind adventure.

1. I was offered a position at Butler Community College as a part-time advisor on Tuesday July 31st, and I accepted. I should be starting on the 13th (if we aren't on a plane to New York). My boss at the college has adopted internationally so she is incredibly empathetic to our situation and understands that we may leave at the drop of a hat. Very excited for this new chapter in my life.

2. Contact with Nichole is ever increasing and we love our choice for an open adoption so far. She is not in the best of spirits but still is incredibly pleasant. This pregnancy is taking a toll on her sleep and she is ready for the adventure of labor to begin. She told us on the phone yesterday that she's been through labor twice, but that doesn't mean she's still a little scared. She said plain and simple, it hurts :-). We went her a Willow Tree Angel, "Thinking of You" last week and she said it really cheered her up. So thankful God has brought such a lovely and wonderful woman into our lives

3. We should be going over the hospital plan that Nichole decided on any day with our adoption specialist. Maybe it's just me but I feel like at times, Laurie's(our adoption agent) plate is sometimes a little too full. She gave me her cell phone and I contacted her yesterday morning about the job change and I felt really bad about interrupting her. She told me that I can call her whenever I need to, but there was still some guilt, then again we are down to crunch time though. I think it's all in my head, but I feel sometimes like Cole, Nichole's agent, is much better about contacting us in a timely manner than Laurie. Again just me venting she has been great and here we are.

4. Trying to get all of the ducks in a row here as far as the dog care, laundry, gifts for Nichole and her family at the adoption (my idea-not forced). Figuring out pediatricians, newborn photography, this whole registry thing, and daycare. Also like I was saying travel arrangements for the big day. Whew. Like I said whirlwind.

Overall though life is good we continue to email Nichole and like I said a new job in my future. We are blessed and in a few more weeks, much more blessings sent our way.

Overjoyed,

Ali

Today has been draining...

So I have been an emotional basket case this afternoon.  First of all I watched a show, I'm Having Their Baby, on Oxygen.  I saw a show on adoption and thought I would jump in.  Bad idea.  This is a show that is taken entirely from the birth mother perspective.  Great in theory, but scary as hell to us potential adoptive parents.  In the show there are two birth mothers and you follow their journey from about seven months on.  In both cases that I watched today the birth mothers were terrified to go through with their adoption plan and one of the birth mothers did decide to parent.  All I could feel was a huge knot in my stomach.  In my heart all I want is for Nichole to do what she feels is best for herself and the baby, but I can't help but be a bit selfish as well.  She seems very solid on her adoption plan and from what her birth mother specialist tells us, she loves us.  However, after all the rainbows and sunshine subside, what if she decides to parent?  What will that do to us?  I mean in this show the potential adoptive family was AT THE HOSPITAL and then told, I'm sorry, you will not be starting the family that you have dreamed of for years.  The baby that you probably held at some point, maybe fed and began to bond with is now no longer any part of your life...it makes me want to scream and get sick all at the same time.  How would we handle news like this?  Don't get me wrong, I think Nichole is an amazing woman and we think about her and pray for her daily.  I am not trying to say this isn't going to work out, because in my heart I know things will work out the way they are supposed to for us.  But it's days like this that make me hate the emotional roller coaster that is adoption.  The fact that at times you start to lose faith in who you are and how much you would mean to a child who is thousands of miles away.  The fact that you want that birth mother to know that more than anything in the world you will love their child and show them more compassion and joy then they could have ever dreamed.  But....here we are, at the mercy of free will. 

Please God, keep us strong and help us to deal with whatever may lie ahead.  Let our love as a couple continue to grow and develop.  Help us to be our greatest support and let our patience never wain.  Be in our corner...In your most holy and gracious name we pray.

The First Contact...

So last Thursday (July 12th) we had our first conference call with our baby's birth mother.  Needless to say I was a bit on edge ;-).  As my heart lodged into my throat when the phone rang it was difficult to squeak out the hello...Mitch was equally as stressed but surprisingly enough we were put at ease very quickly.  Nichole was a joy to speak with and you can tell that emotions are high, OBVIOUSLY, for all involved.  She seemed overjoyed to speak with us and we were very happy to begin our relationship with her.  The idea of  an open, I mean OPEN adoption seems to scare a lot of individuals off, but I am telling you it is inspiring, comforting and reassuring.  In our situation we couldn't be happier.  It will take a considerable amount of effort on our part to make sure that Nichole and her kids are a part of our child's life, but nothing worth having is ever easy.  We truly look forward to many conversations to come and to build a lifelong relationship with Nichole and her children.

My Brain On Baby...

So as we received the match call about a week and a half ago, got back from the lake on Thursday and are trying to settle back into life, I realize that I have got some major work ahead of me. Not only am I trying to mentally prepare myself for a new job at Maize High next year, also working at Butler in advising, but now I also have to try to figure out how to be a parent at the same time (I know I know, it will all come to me, but come on people, I am a master at being prepared!!). I have to work on a massive amount of lesson plans for long-term subs/maternity leave, figure out day care for our little peanut (pretty sure I got that in the bag), and pediatrician consultations and such. Surprisingly enough I am sooo excited about everything though that I don't look at any of this as a burden. I look forward to the challenge that it will provide and am happy to start my work. I think that Mitch may believe I am wigging out a bit, but I am trying to process at hyper speed. Last night we went to Leah and Randy's for dinner and she was giving me some awesome advice on what I should think about registering for based on what she has really used with her boys. She was a huge confidence booster letting me know that it's all possible and no new mom knows it all to begin with. It's good to hear it out loud. I know it's the truth, but sometimes it's nice to hear from a mom of two, who once was a new mom herself. This next week will be full of lesson planning and preparation as well as the rest of July. Hopefully Mitch and I will be able to squeeze one more lake trip into our schedule. Can't wait for what's to come but I am also going to cherish these last few weeks as a wife, friend, daughter, sister, and aunt before I also get to add mom to the mix :-). Trying to keep on track, Ali

The Best News!!

On Thursday the 28th of June we received one of the most exciting phone calls of our lives. The match call...About 10:00 on Thursday morning as I was packing my bags for Beaver Lake my cell phone rang. It was a Kansas City number so I knew it was the adoption agency, but I thought it probably had to do with the video we are working on completing for the second time. I answered very nonchalant and then began to realize that this was our match phone call, a woman has chosen us to be her baby's adoptive parents!! He rattled off all the information and was incredibly kind. He told me that this is the favorite part of his job and not to worry because he will email as soon as we were finished with all the information so I didnt need to write anything down. He told me, her name is Nichole and she is from New York. He continued with more of the details and explained why she chose us as her match. He said that when she saw Mitch's loving face (her words not mine :-D), read that I was a teacher, and that we were young and energetic she knew we were the perfect match. As the phone call ensued I tried so hard to keep it all together and all in all I did very well(those who know me well realize this is a feat in itself...). After about ten minutes he told me that he was sure I would have questions, but he wanted me to chat with Mitch and to get back with him after I had some time to process. I thanked him over and over and then hung up. Was this really happening? Are we really going to get a baby and become parents just like that? I lost it, balling I called Mitch right away. He of course thought that someone had died or there had been a horrific accident and immediately left the office at the shop to have our private conversation. As I squeaked out, WE ARE GETTING A BABY, he automatically changed his mood from concern to overwhelming joy. What a great day! We had 48 hours to complete paperwork and get everything in order for our match. As we were planning on leaving for vacation in a matter of hours I was frantic but it all worked out beautifully and here we are today ready and waiting on the next steps. We have a conference call with our adoption agent, Laurie, on Tuesday morning and then we will see where we go from there. Couldn't be happier or more excited. Baby is due on August 30th and we will fly to Syracuse, New York when we get that OTHER exciting phone call. Hopes are high that all will work out beautifully and within a few months we will be Mitch and Ali Kiser, plus one :-). Full of Joy, Ali

Updates...

So we got word back from the adoption agency "video profile specialist" that we were doing a fine job on the video portion, but they needed more. Apparently I don't have enough footage with kids (big surprise, Mitch is like kiddie candy and me I'm more like. Bologna sandwich) and we need more outdoorsy stuff. Soooo we are taking the video camera to the lake. Since we will be staying at the Pressnell cabin we will get some time with Kinsey and Kaden which will be perfect for the video. We are also going to tape some softball games for Mitch, we taped the Relay for Life and we will do some walking and bike riding as well. Wow we sound so incredibly well-rounded. Hahaha, it all looks good for the camera. Then hopefully after we get that all turned in the process of editing will be a quick one and we will REALLY be finished with the profile part. On another note my cousin had her baby on Monday night. So happy for her (don't get me wrong!) but I do have to admit, having to go through all of the congratulations again can be hard. She is going to be a fantastic Mom and I wish her an incredible amount of joy, but I can't help but be a bit jealous. When will it be our time? I also saw a clip on the news about a trail for a Wichita mom who threw her baby in a dumpster. It makes me want to scream. There are babies born everyday to people like this monster who do not want them and treat them literally ad garbage when there are people like us who want nothing more than to have a child and start a family. What is wrong with people. There are a lot of adoption programs in the area she could have used or children's homes she could have brought the baby to in order to do the right thing. Grrrr. Deep breath. Moving on. The other night while I was at The Relay for Life I was taking a break and catching up on my email I saw one from American Adoptions talking about the end of the adoption tax credit at the end of this year. This really started to worry me. Not that we were expecting this for our adoption options but many people do and the fact that they are thinking about completely doing away with it is crazy. I went onto my FB page and liked the page I was requested to like and decided I would contact my state representative and ask that he co-sponser the "Help Keep Adoption Affordable" Act. If you want more information on how you can help you can follow the link below. Let's help keep deserving couples on the track to becoming the family they always dreamed of! And finally, no news on the adoption front as of now, just patiently waiting. Keeping myself busy so I don't spend too much time in the nursery. But we will continue to keep you updated. Thanks for reading the large uncomfortable ramble ;-),

Ali

Here's that link:
http://adoptiontaxcredit.org/

Kiser Baby Room Complete and Awaiting the new arrival...whenever that may be :-)

This weekend we completed the baby room.  So excited to now add the finishing touch, aaaa baby ;-)!  We have been piecing it together and are sooo happy with how it all turned out.  Just wanted to document the finished product.  Hope you enjoy.  No news on the adoption front as of now...patiently waiting,  Ali

First Hurdle...

So we received an email from Laurie from the adoption agency yesterday and it seems like the birth mother is not as committed to her adoption plan as first perceived. What this means is that she really liked the idea of adoption but when it's all said and done she isn't sure if she is willing to give the baby up for adoption. First hurdle covered, disappointment. We are doing just fine though. Realize that it wasn't meant to be and are so excited that there are sooo many other situations available for us. To all of you who have been praying, thank you so much and we will keep our fingers crossed that another option comes along soon. Grounded again, but so far from broken,

Ali

Random.

I love this picture...so true and so perfect!

Exciting News

Today has been an exciting day in adoption world for Mitch and I. At about 12:30 this afternoon I got a call from Laurie (our adoptive family specialist) at American Adoptions. Answering the phone in a flash I was surprised to see the number come up. She told me that there is a birth mother in KANSAS that is trying to make a decision about a family for her baby that is due any day. She wanted to ask us a few questions and from what I gathered we are one of two options. Her questions were what are some of the goals and dreams we have for a child and what do you think is more important for a child success or trying your hardest. I told Laurie I would get them answered and back to her within the hour and went straight to work. I called Mitch with the exciting news and we both agreed that we need to keep our heads on straight because nothing is set in stone EVER, and we want the birth mother to chose the family that she feels the most comfortable with, be that us or not. Below is the answer to our questions. Talk about a tough one to answer, especially when it might lead to the deciding factor. And breathe in...breathe out. So on my way home I keep thinking how amazing this would be and praying that God give both us and the birth mother strength in this difficult time. What a decision to make. Considering we have only been in the pool for a month on Wednesday makes this even more of a rush. Trying to keep a level head is tough, but we shall persevere. I just hope that we hear something back soon or I might go crazy. Up in the air, Ali

1. What are some of your goals and dreams for a child?

​Some of the goals that we have for our child include an understanding that knowledge is power and gaining that knowledge is important. We know that so much learning is gained outside of just the traditional classroom and hope to give them many opportunities to build that knowledge base. We hope that they learn from our example, as well as our friends and family that being a kind, considerate, loving, respectful individual is key to being happy and fulfilled and accepting other’s differences is part of what makes us all unique. Through experiences like travel we hope to be able to expand the cultural views to which our child is exposed throughout their life. With this exposure to other cultures and adventures both in and out of doors, we hope that our child is excited to explore the world around them and not be afraid to ask the who, what, where, when and why. A well rounded person also needs to understand the value of a job well done. This is very present in our lives and we hope to instill this is our children. Finding that passion and working towards a common goal is important and we hope that our child is able to harness that passion whether it be baseball, painting, singing, or scuba diving :-). We can’t wait to see the person that they will become and help in building such a great character!

2. What is more important the child succeeding or trying their hardest?

​We believe that in doing their best a child can feel success even if it is not what is “measured” as success to all. A ribbon at the end of the race is not always as important as knowing that you tried your hardest and did your best. We feel that so much is learned during the journey, and sometimes, the struggle, that the end result is not always the most important piece. As parents we will be a support system for our child, teaching them the value of hard work and guiding them on the path towards success. However, we understand though that sometimes we will have to stand back, no matter how hard that may be, and let them make their own decisions which may or may not produce the success they had hoped for. Again though, we feel success is many times found in the journey, not always at the finish line.

To Cloth or Not to Cloth...

So as motherhood approaches I have been doing some researching on the OH SO MANY options.  And I have come to the conclusion that maybe cloth "hybrid" diapers are a not so shabby idea.  Now before you all go nuts over this concept there are some really cool things to consider.  First of all these aren't your mamas cloth diaper.  These are a super cool mix between disposable diapers and cloth.  The best of both worlds.  There is a pretty hefty start up cost, but then you are good for the three years of diapers, just having to purchase the disposable inserts.  You can flush the inserts...They can even be put in your COMPOST!  You could literally grow a garden from old diapers.  SWEET :-).  If a person were to just put them in the trash though, they decompose at the landfill in like 30 days, unlike disposable diapers which take like 500 years!!  Reading the reviews they seem pretty positive.  We are also planning on putting little one in day care which tends to make us a bit more apprehensive, but when I spoke with the wonderful woman who told us she would be excited to provide care, she said she would have no problem doing the cloth thing, as her son does it now.  So still on the fence, but it makes for an interesting option.  Don't worry Mom, if you don't want to do the whole cloth thing when baby stays with you, we can totally supplement.  No problems, to each their own.  Here's a link to teach you a bit more.  Knowledge is power ;-).

http://www.gdiapers.com/environmentally-friendly-diapers/how-gdiapers-work

On another note, we got word that our video is being developed as we speak.  Pretty excited that they are professionals at editing...it's gonna need some love.  Once we hear back we will post a link to check it all out.  Other than that, things are quiet at the Kiser House.  Got the nursery all finished, I will post more detailed pics of that soon!  Anxiously awaiting, Ali

Oh How the Tables Have Turned.

Over the past week/week and a half, Mitch and I have been diligently working on our Video Profile.  To say the least it has been difficult.  With my teaching background, I have no issues speaking to "people" (a.k.a video camera) and I understand the importance of appearing natural.  Mitch bless his heart is amazing at conversation, but this process has been a real doozie for him.  He has been telling me about his anxiety here within the past few weeks and how he hasn't been sleeping very well.  This is a man who could sleep with a train rolling through our house!!  I keep telling him how weird it is that I am so chill about all of this and he, FOR ONCE, is the tightly wound partner.  He keeps telling me that he is just so excited and so ready to have a baby that it is all that consumes his thoughts.  This makes me happy as well as a bit concerned.  What if it takes a while to make this adoption happen?  How emotionally drained will he be?  He has been an amazing support through all of this and now I tend to find myself baffled at how to help him RELAX.  Maybe I should just start playing, Frankie Goes to Hollywood-Relax, 24 hours a day in our home.  Well, it would be a good distraction ;-).  I think that things will be a bit more normal, after a few months go by.  Sometimes the hardest part is just sitting back and letting someone else take control.  Surprisingly enough, I am OK with that at this point.  Go on now, do some work...Other than that we got the crib all put together, waiting on Leah and Randy to help us finish up our video this weekend, and then we are golden.  Will post if anything new occurs, other than that, much like this part of the adoption process, things may be a bit quiet.  Until next time, Ali

Baby Room Success!

The Records to use for decoration in the Baby's Room!  Love them!

The Baby Room, sideways.  Sorry I couldn't get it to rotate on  my computer :-)

So this last weekend was a HUGE success.  Even though we are still trying to get the paint fumes out of our nose it all went swimmingly.  We became "Officially Active" in the adoption system on Monday(4-23-12) so it has been an exciting week.  Below I have posted a picture of the baby room.  The crib came in yesterday so after we get the carpet replaced, hopefully early next week, we are going to put that bad boy together.  It looks so adorable and we are so excited to fill it with a little one.  I also got these super cute children's records from Ebay for $8 from the 40's and 50's they are adorable and look amazing in the baby room.  Can't wait for our little project to be all finished.  Anyway, here's the update :-).  Ali

He's Got The Whole World In His Hands...

Yesterday evening while Mitch and I were relaxing in the hot tub and talking about the fact that we are going to be officially in the "pool" of adoptive parents probably by Monday he did the sweetest thing. There was a brief pause and he started singing He's Got the Whole World In His Hands. He kept inserting adorable baby references (he's got our little baby, in his hands, he's got their little tiny feet in his hands). It was beyond cute. Then today I went and picked up all the paint for the baby room. We decided to get a dark gray and a bright green for the primary colors. So excited to start painting tomorrow. We are both so gung ho. Whoo hoo! Pictures to follow :-)

Ali

The WONDERFUL WORLD OF BABY!

So Mitch decided he would treat me on Sunday after our lovely Easter gatherings with family and we headed to Babies 'R Us...Boy oh Boy.  It was funny not even five minutes after we walked through the door he said, "Man, there is a lot of stuff!".  That's not even an exaggeration at all!  I could tell that we both were super excited to start getting this nursery started :-).  It was funny though, Mitch decided we should take the motorcycle over to look so that we didn't come home with anything.  Such a smart man, he knows us so well!!  Anyway we picked out the furniture that we like and the bedding so now the fun part begins.  Not that the paperwork was not a blast (insert sarcasm here), but we are ready to move forward towards more exciting things...Pictures below are of the furniture and bedding!  Also, if any of you lovelies know of things that are a MUST have for a baby, please let me know.  This is uncharted territory for me...A bit overwhelming.

Ali

SO I saw this article, thought I'd share

During the past couple of days here at the house I have been avidly looking at articles and thinking about this new nursery project I intend to begin ever so shortly and I came across this tidbit.  It made me chuckle because it could not be more of a reflection of things to come with Mitch and I...Me always being the intensely emotionally invested and Mitch trying to take things in stride.  Thought you might think it is interesting.  Funny thing too the lady who wrote it is from Pittsburg, KS!!  Hope to be posting more this week...HAPPY EASTER :-)

Ali

http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=951

A Few More of the Photo Session.



Our little family...Hopefully to Expand Soon!



So Happy Together :-)






I love Mitch's face in this one...it's like yeah, she LOVES me!







Frugality...NEVER My Strong Point.

The Profile Picture.

Got the pictures back from Shianne for our profile.  They turned out great and we decided on the photo above to be the ultimate first impression.  Hope it conveys the idea that we are amazing and totally should be parents!  (Thinking I might zoom in just a smidge, hope that's cool Shianne!)  As we are moving into the more exciting and less challenging point of the process (expect for the waiting of course), I find myself wanting to do all of the things that other "expectant" mothers would like to do.  Things like checking into daycare options, choosing a pediatrician, and setting up a nursery.  Knowing that if I were actually pregnant this would already be done makes it difficult to take a few steps back and breathe.  Mitch keeps telling me to be money aware and not to do much baby stuff until school is out.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME!  THAT MEANS HE IS MAKING ME WAIT A WHOLE MONTH AND A HALF!!  If you know much about me and my desire to get all things done that I am excited about in a timely manner, this is going to be a tough situation to endure ;-).  I guess I am going to have to just buckle down, quit looking at pinterest for baby ideas (oh good Lord there are so many!), and try to focus on other things in my life...maybe I will start working on that whole sewing thing.  No better time than the present I suppose.  Wish me luck and good thoughts sent my way for patience and spend-thrifty-ness.   I feel like I make a lot of words up in this whole process.  Also if any of you have ideas or suggestions on the previous topics please shout them out.  I am new at this whole thing and could use a few pointers when Mitch does set me loose!

Excited to have a potential bundle on the way, Ali 

Today Is The First of Many Big Days!!

So we have reached day one of official stress and worry (for me at least)...it is the Home Study Day!! As I tend to wig out at lots of things Mitch seems overall unscathed. I know things will be just fine, it's just traveling into the unknown that is a bit nerve-racking :-). She is going to be here at 2:00 and the process will get rolling. Hopefully I remembered everything. From the sound of it we will be active next month. Hip hip hooray, a baby may be quickly on its way!! Anywho off I go to continue to make sure our house looks just like somewhere The Brady Bunch might reside...Here's a story, of Mitch and Ali, who are waiting for a baby to call their own ;-)...

Our Personal Profile

Last week as I was vigorously typing away trying to finish our profile for the adoption agency I realized something fantastic. After all of the rough patches we've hit with starting a family, we have arrived. As I was typing and pouring our hearts out via Microsoft Word :-), it just started flowing out. I thought it would be difficult to put us to paper, but it was surprisingly easy. I guess when you reach a certain clarity with your situation the words to say come very naturally. So now that that chunk is finished, home study this weekend, pictures will be sent in next week and we will be on the books. Looks like April will be a great month for us , March was pretty fabulous. Things are looking up! Thanks God we needed a boost :-)

Ali

What Brings Us Here

We always knew that we wanted to be parents. There was never a doubt in our minds that we would make it happen. However the road to build our family has not been an easy one. It all started about five years ago when we had been married for about a year, we were moving home from college and ready to start the next phase in our lives, true blue adulthood. Having had issues in the past, we knew that it might be a bit of a challenge to get pregnant and so not long after the boxes were unpacked we went to see a fertility specialist to run some tests and get the ball rolling. Months went by and then years. Procedures were done and still no progress towards pregnancy. Since we like to have a plan for most things in our lives and like to be in the driver's seat it was very difficult to absorb the fact that there wasn't an explanation for not getting pregnant, it just wasn't happening. Nature just wasn't giving us a break.

After five years of disappointment and watching our friends and family expand around us with successful pregnancies, we decided to explore other options. In the back of our minds we had always thought about the adoption process but never had really looked into what it was all about. Then, after a final attempt at In Vitro Fertilization, and a devastating blow with yet again a negative result, we knew it must be God's way of telling us that we would create a family in a unique and special kind of way.

So that is what brings us here, to this point of our journey. We could not be more excited and eager to finally have the amazing opportunity to fulfill the dream we have had for many years to become parents. With the endless supply of love that we can provide a child, our years leading to this adoption process have really been the most blessed gift in disguise and for that we are thankful.

The Wheels are Set In Motion

So this week we successfully sent in our Adoption Planning Questionnaire, so huge and so important. This is the document where you outline completely what you are comfortable with in the adoption process. After lots of reading and lots of personal thought processing we came to mutual decisions and submitted. We have been assigned a lovely lady by the name of Lori to help us through the whole process which is reassuring and we will be working with her until baby time! After we successfully got that in the works our family profile became available. I am finding it difficult to put myself out there so vulnerable to the technological world. Why are we so great and so perfect? This will be a real thinker. I mean how often in your life, other than job interviews does one have to put their personal qualities up to bat for them. At least with a job interview it's a bit more specific than "tell us about how you would make an enduring and everlasting impression in the life of a child..." Ok so maybe it's not that hardcore but that is how I am tending to approach this beast. Wish us luck and at least I know this much:

Favorites:
Color-Green...

Oh and by the way, home study set up for March 24th, two weeks away!!

Thanks for yet again tuning in,

Ali

Cultural Genocide...

Yesterday when I was reading several articles about transracial adoption I kept seeing the term "cultural genocide". Basically what some social work professionals and psychologists are saying is that when a child of one cultural background is brought into another cultural background the parents of that child are killing that sense of identity. Personally I think that this is the most backward and old fashioned way to look at such a unique situation. Yes, do I think that there are going to be some blended differences as to what may have taken place in the birth parent home, as well as the idea that the child may have a more difficult time adjusting to their self identity. But looking at that would they not also be exposed to a huge variety of other cultures and points-of-view if the adoptive family feels the need for exposure? Will a child of adoption not have a much more difficult time to begin with trying to adjust to their feelings of self-identity? The answer yes, but I'd like to think that Mitch and I will be armed with the right tools to help put some of the differences in check. If a question were to arise, "Why am I different?", which at some point no doubt it will, we will be able to highlight the difference but then also talk about the many similarities that are present. Those of you that know me well enough know that I have always been unique in my own way, much as we all are, and I think that it will be a welcome challenge to bring to light all of the wonderful pieces we can put in the puzzle of self discovery. So I guess with my vent/rant I would like to tell all of those professionals who believe that transracial adoption is an irresponsible decision to look at the bigger picture, and realize that even though our skin may be the same color or our neighborhoods the same location, that does not mean it is in the best interest of a child. Love and understanding knows no specific culture. Whew! Ali

The Beginning of a Beautiful Relationship

So from all of the websites and publications that have been flooding into our house we have continuely seen a good way to celebrate all of the "moments" that come with an adoption is to blog...here I am blogging :-). With little experience in this field we will be taking this journey together but we think it will be a valuable way to vent and document this Adoption Advuenture. Two weeks ago we attended an adoption seminar in Overland Park with American Adoptions. It went amazingly well and by the time we arrived home we knew it was the right choice for us. So needless to say, I got on the ball right away and by Monday our application was faxed. So far American Adoptions has been great with quick correspondence and positive feedback at every chance. We set up our home study for the first of April and now are going through a series of paperwork to get all of our ducks in a row. Having finished the 108 page adoption information packet I feel that we are pretty informed and very emotionally prepared for what's to come. The Adoption Planning Questionaire has been a challenge but through much discussion and again research we are only three questions away from the finish. Mitch has already seen the complete dedication in me with this whole adoption process and I think that he is going to know just as much as I do if not more by the time we are matched. We hope for a quick, yet compatible match and look forward to the time that we get to hold our baby for the first time. God is good and we trust that he will help us to get through whatever twists and turns may come. We are beyond blessed to have such an amazing support system between our families, friends and co-workers and could not get to this point without that in our lives. On the home front I am still up in the air about my employment for next year and hope to get that wrapped up within the week so my priorities will be so much more clear. This is our year, this is our time, and we cannot wait for what lies ahead. With SO much love, Ali 3-3-12 3:59 PM